Sensei Green
' Sensei Green' (グリーン・先生 Gurīn-Sensei), full name "Sensei Greenu-chan-san-sama," is a side character featured mainly in the "Glorious Montage" story arc. He is a blind vigilante wearing a spandex Kangaroo mask who uses an old, worn-out rifle to no effect whatsoever, and who teaches Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout how to defeat Bananarama-sama. History Born blind, Green was a constant disappointment to his father, after whom he was named. Green was intended to inherit his father's power nuggets, but instead, a few years after Green was born, his mother died giving birth to a baby girl. The healthy little sister's name was Hunter, yet she too was a disappointment for their father, since she could not channel power nuggets. However, unlike her brother, she could still see, a fact which she lorded over her other brother. after his first attempt to show them the strength of his Power Nuggets]] After their father's death at the hands of Bananarama, they would no longer focus on their extremely one-sided sibling rivalry, instead resolving to subject each other to hilarious painful blindness related puns. Green and Hunter began their quest for vengeance. She would point his rifle in the right direction (to great objection), and he would use his power nuggets in combination one of his very limited techniques, such as Anti-Matter Shell, to take down anyone standing in their way (with only a 75% chance of success). When Hunter noticed that her partnership with her brother was getting ridiculous, as not only had all their friends and remaining family furiously shipped them with each other, but they had been at their stupid quest for five years and had not been able to even find their quarry or any of his allies. They were on the verge of giving up when Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout happened across their path and asked for their help locating his other shoe. Glorious Montage arc Realizing that his existence thus far had pretty much been pointless, Green began calling himself "Sensei-Green," despite not actually being qualified to teach anything, and insisted that Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout refer to him as such. When the rest of the Scoutlings arrived, Sensei Green had finished training the others on the infamous Taco Tuesday of Infinite Salsa Verde. Soon after meeting the rest of the Scoutlings, Hunter fell in love with Rear Admiral Fights, leaving Green to the grisly fate that awaited him in the bathroom. Unbeknownst to the Scoutlings, to Hunter, or to Sensei-Green, Bananarama had gotten wind of the latter's taco salsa recipe and, fearing for his digestive tract, dispensed his Hell-General Beefo to end him. Following his Master's orders (and fearing for his own pooper), Beefo hid in the toilet, lying in wait to deal out retribution for the burning salsa that was so powerful that even the Mighty Bananarama himself, without eating them, felt the burning in his rectum. Unfortunately for Beefo, Sensei-Green had already partaken of his own spicy salsa tacos, and that night Sensei-Green met his end as his anus spewed molten magma. It poured all over the disgusted Beefo, who fled for his life from the building, leaving Sensei-Green to his self-inflicted crispy fate. Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout and his friends, upon hearing the thunderous eruption and spotting Beefo on his way out, rushed to the public restroom where they found Sensei-Green dead on the toilet, with his lower torso melted off and a hellish stench coming from. Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout, horrified and disgusted, swore further violence on Bananarama for exacting such a smelly revenge on his beloved sensei. The one thing Sensei Green managed to teach Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-scout is that he didn't need eyes to use Power Nuggets, but that he must instead use his mind to see things and that it may take blind luck to defeat the monster named Bananarama-sama. Okay, so he taught him three things. Several months later, after being repeatedly rejected by Rear Admiral Fights for not having "nearly enough power nuggets" for him to bone her, Hunter is seen reading a newspaper like some kind of old person. Upon reading about her brother's death in the paper, Hunter cried for three seconds, turned to the Funny Pages, and forgot why she was crying. BANANARAMA RETURNS Saga Though Sensei Green does indeed meet his end in the Glorious Montage saga, he is brought back briefly as an Eldritch-Robot-Nazi-Zombie-Vampire-Werewolf-Cyborg, cloned and built from his own corpse to destroy the Scoutlings, then is defeated easily by Rear Admiral Fights as revenge for allowing his sister Hunter to stalk them. 'Techniques' *''Anti-Matter Shell'' — Using his power nuggets he channels all his energy into one bullet which then, upon touching its target, cancels out all matter around it, this often backfires as he is blind and needs help aiming to get even close to his target. *''Inner Sight'' — Sort of a "be the ball" (or in this case, the bullet) technique, causing Sensei Green to have faith in his aiming abilities and thus causing him to miss altogether because he refused help. Voice Actors In the English dub, Sensei-Green is voiced by Barry Manilow. In the Japanese dub, the character is voiced by the DC Comics character Egg Fu. Category:Characters Category:Senseis Category:Snipers